Monday, December 26, 2016

The Devil Wears TaTas


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Today we are going to talk about breasts because you mf love arguing about breasts.  Bitches will set a thirst trap then be mad when it catches the wrong dude they were trying to get.  Then, will deny it was indeed a trap of thirst they were setting.  Don’t act like you didn’t go buy that $50 Victoria Secret bra and put it on with that low-cut shirt for people not to notice your cleavage.  I’m calling you out today because I do not have time for the bullshit.  Do not tell me you only did it for good support.  You pushed them damn girls up to your chest for a reason. 

It really amazes me how much bitches act blind to the fact that what they wear may draw certain attention. I'm not saying that you look like a hoe when you wear certain things. I'm saying don't wear your titties out and think people aren't going to notice them.  No, you don't deserve for people to assume you are a hoe, but you're going to get looked at.  The problem with this argument is that I just said exactly what I meant and a bitch will still say I said you look like a hoe.   Any time you try to even discuss this topic someone will scream “Rape Culture.”  This is exactly why I need for you to reread what I said and take it as written.  Don’t act like you didn’t expect people to look at your damn breast when you took the time out to make a nice little presentation below your chin. 


When I put on my good bra or some leggings, I know someone is going to look.  I'm not in a world full of Stevie Wonders.  So, what is so damn hard for people to be honest about the shit they do?  There has to be some level of self-awareness that you have.  Stop acting like you're oblivious.  The dumb act is out of style. It's time to be honest.  Y'all mfs so Woke that sleep deprivation got you ignoring certain facts right in front of your face. Try this:  stop reading into shit and thinking everyone is against you.  Take things for what they are.  See just what is there and not what you want. 

Today, it's 1 degree, so I dressed warm.  The result I wanted was to be warm.  As humans, we manipulate our surroundings to get things we need or want.  We like to control what goes on in our world.  Don't tell me you do something to not get a certain result.  You may not be aware of it.  Each of us are self-determining individuals who can choose what we do and hold ourselves responsible for what we do. So when you put on certain things I really need you to dig down deep inside that measly brain of yours to figure out why you did it.  Did you put this certain outfit on because you didn't want people to look?  No, bitch, you wanted attention or you were ok with people seeing you.  Until you learn to be honest, you're not going to really do as you please and not worry about what others think.  I wore these leggings because they are comfortable and I don't mind people looking at my ass today.  It's that simple. 

The Breast-feeding argument

Oh, I'm so tired of y'all acting like the only time you've had your titty in another being's mouth, it was for breast feeding.  Stop right there. STOP IT NOW!  If you done used your titties for anything other than feeding, stop thinking people are only going to view them as for feeding.  You bitches act like it's a crime to be a little modest.  I had a whole argument with some stupid ass bitch because she said I wouldn't be a good mother because I said I rather use a blanket to breastfeed. I have a problem with people mixing up fact with opinions.  You woke ass ingrates got it bad accusing people of being stupid or bad at something.  I'm merely saying, if you gone do something don't get upset about the consequences and be honest about your intentions. 

Control.  You cannot control others.  There's no Controlla like Drake sings about.  You cannot program others to think the way you want them to.  Just because you were easily influenced doesn't mean others are.  So why continue to have this fuckin argument about why others shouldn't view your breast as sexual because you are not using them sexual. You used them as sexual in the past.  Stop trying to control what everyone else thinks and accept that everyone is not going to see things like you.  We gotta hear these Woke ass rants every day on Facebook and twitter because y'all trying to fill your need for power and/or freedom. 

Call it like you see it.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  See things the way they are.  Cut the crap.  I can say this in so many ways. It's time for us to give ourselves a reality check and stop playing the victim.

-Summer

Monday, December 12, 2016

The Truth About Charlie

Unabridged

I started thinking about how I was going to write this a year ago.  I want to explain why I took a three year hiatus from this blog.  It was never intentional. Why is hard to discuss but I'm going to try my best to be as open and honest as possible though this is a tough and sensitive topic for me. My last post before December was in 2013 so I will take you back to 2013.

What ever happened to _____? I liked you two together.

He was a monster, a manipulator, a sadist, a sexual predator, a liar.  For a year when I was asked this question, I answered with, "We're not together."  I was not comfortable with sharing what happened to me.  I was ashamed and felt responsible.  It took me 1 year to speak about the incidents that took place in my relationship, 2 years to admit what it was, and 3 years to post it publicly.  I don't want to discuss it further after this.

I'm not sure when I first started following _____ on Twitter but I knew he was not from Chicago.  Sometime in early January I noticed he lived here and I sent him a flyer to a Founders' Day party I was "hosting." (My name was on the flyer).   I was doing this as a nice gesture.  We began to text and I was flattered by a lot he said.  We began to date.  He made it known that he wanted to "court" me and stay celibate for awhile.  He took me out every weekend and we talked every day. I was so happy. I finally felt like I met someone that was genuinely interested in me because he was not interested in my body.  He took me out every weekend, I never stayed over.

_____ explained to me on our first date that he lived with a couple he knew from school and was looking for an apartment. He talked about how he was tired of them and didn't want to bring me over. I had questions but I brushed them off thinking I was feeding into trust issues.  I ignored my intuition and I still regret that til this day.  I notice how at night we wouldn't speak as much but me being a person that goes to bed early I didn't think anything of it when he said he did as well.  Another flag I ignored.

The first time we had sex I was dissatisfied.  I found myself not attracted to him sexually. I was so attached to him that I felt guilt about it.  I cried afterward and told him that we should have waited longer.  I couldn't admit to myself that I lacked attraction to someone that treated me so well.  I was disgusted. Around this time is when I had a chance for the exit I should have taken.  One night he was late picking me up for our plans we had to meet some my friends.  I blew up his phone. I had not had a boyfriend in 5 years and it was important to me to show my friends who I had been talking about so much.  So, i popped up at the apartment he was staying.  I saw his name on the mailbox along with another and I began to hold down the buzzer. (I get quite....determined at times.). He appeared downstairs half sleep. He fussed at me about popping up but I did not care. We had plans and he was going to follow through. We had fun at the event.

Normally, we didn't take my car but since I popped up before hand I had to drop him off.  As I got out the passenger to get in the driver's seat a car pulled in front of me blocking me.  A girl jumped out the car screaming at him.  I was puzzled.  Was this a neighbor he had issues with.  He began to dismiss her.  Well, without getting into much detail it came out he was living with this girl. Not the couple he told me he lived with. They were the couple and she was the roommate he hated.  He told her I was his girlfriend. My anger immediately was directed at him.  She, on the other hand, continued to call me out my name. So at 3 in the morning, i found myself laying my hands on both of them.

He begged me to stay. I was devastated. He was supposed to meet my family in a week, he just met my friends, and I had posted pics of us. I was embarrassed that something else fell through.   As he sat and cried I realized that if I forgave him and stayed on stipulations that he had 3 days to move, that I couldn't tell anyone what happened.  So, I didn't.  I wanted this to work.  I wanted to stay happy I did not want to fail. 

Nothing Was the Same

Things started to change.  I had lost interest but didn't admit it.  He started to make me feel like I wasn't enough.  He began to be manipulative.  I continued hating having sex with him and he made it seem like it was because I lacked in the sexual department.  He began to bite me leaving black and purple bruises and when I objected, he said I was weak.  He didn't take me out anymore, he drank constantly, gave me an STD, and began to force me to think it was my fault.  I started to see how irresponsible he was.  He was no longer planning dates. I wasn't attracted to him.  I relapsed into depression and began needing medication just to do day to day tasks.  This wasn't the man that I fell for. As unhappy as I was, I continued to post couple pics and pretend like the room wasn't a blaze around me.  I wanted it to work.

Things Fall Apart

I continued to not be sexually satisfied. We had only had sex 4 times and the disgust was all over my face each time.  I didn't want him inside me and I had no problem showing it on my face. Someone from my past moved into town and I found myself tempted.  I began to open up to him about what had went on.  It was a cry for help. I wanted him to tell me to leave.  I didn't catch his subtle statements about leaving I needed him to be blunt.  Then, _____ told me that he was not satisfied sexually and I gave him bad head.  I was offended. I didn't like being intimate with him and he blamed it on me being whack in the bedroom department.  So, I went to prove to myself it wasn't and I cheated. 

Out of guilt of him constantly cheating, having a BDSM secret life and blog, planning an orgy, and still seeing his old "roommate," _____ went through my phone while I was in the shower.  He discovered what I had did with my former fling.  How he took it out on me is hard to say.  _____  forced and had non consensual sex with me and told me it was my punishment.  I have never felt so powerless in my life.  I locked myself in the bathroom and wanted to kill myself.  I should have called the police.  I felt like I brought it on myself and he continued to tell me I deserved it.  When I tried to leave, he did not let me leave the apartment.  He stated it was because I was suicidal but it was really because he didn't want me to go to the police.  For hours, I couldn't tell you what I did in that bathroom.

He continued to accuse me of things that he was doing himself like asking me if I had videos of me on the internet having sex.  Saying that the chapter of kappas at my school (who he was jealous of) had ran through me.  Screaming crying and placing blame on me for what he did.  After all of this I didn't know how to feel about myself. When the relationship ended, I was relieved. But I was embarrassed and confused.  I was hurt that I could not make something work because I had constantly been told over the last 11 months that it was me.  I did not want to discuss the abuse with anyone because I was ashamed. I wanted to forget about it.  I felt stupid for staying. I avoided places I thought he may be at. I wanted to erase it from my mind. 

Reality Check

I feel guilty for not speaking up sooner. He has hurt people since and I could have possibly prevented this.  Everyone won't understand consent or how a victim can feel attacked.  We see it when many ask, "Why are you choosing to speak now?"  The answer is that I simply wasn't ready.  I don't want to continue to explain what occurred and relive it.  I left things out because it's too hard to repeat at times.  I have deleted all pictures and any trace of him that I have left. I have blocked him on social media as well.  This guy went around claiming to be a feminist on Twitter when he was a predator and sadist. I've found other people that he's done similar things to.  There are many of us.  I have decided to use my voice to help someone in a similar situation. Thank you for listening.

- Belle

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Your King & I

Raw

Side chicks.  I feel like we are often the butt of the jokes but no one has ever been honest enough about their past history as one or the sex you've encountered over the years. I can't speak for everyone but I will explain to you the reason why I like fucking yo nigga.  The sex is better when there is no attachment.  I've often spoken to my friends about why my boyfriends can't give it to me the way a man that don't give a fuck about me can. Why is it better with someone that doesn't belong to you? It's simple. Your man lets loose on me and explores things he is afraid to ask you for. To him, I'm Teanna Trump.  Something he can explore his fantasies with, leave, and maybe have post porn guilt afterward. I'm his secret obsession. He doesn't have to kiss me, hold me, or take me out. I serve one purpose. He can be reckless with me and feel free. Your man hasn't pulled out in months because when he's inside me he doesn't care about the consequences.

Often times people think a side chick wants what you have. That is not always the case. There's a difference between fucking out of spite and fucking to get off.  Being a side chick because you are attached or spiteful is what amateurs do.  Vets in the O.P.P. game know that this ain't that. Some of us like the sex with no attachment and the adrenaline.  Your man gets on my nerves. I don't always respond back. I don't want to put up with the shit you do everyday, cleaning up behind him, or dealing with his moods.  I don't have time.  I'm here to get want you probably not getting.  Take a licking and keep on ticking.  When he comes and asks me for favors, I tell him to ask you. He is not my problem, he's yours.  I don't want your man.  I barely like him.

I'm not saying that relationship sex is bad.  I'm just saying it's not always what you want it to be.  Sometimes it can be a chore.  Love making is boring and sex don't feel like fucking.  Stop letting choreographed tv and movie sex scenes fool you into believing main chicks getting boned like that everyday. Yes, the cuddling afterward is nice, but let's be honest, sometimes we just go to sleep afterward.  You gave your boyfriend some to get it out the way and do what you really want to, sleep.  You've had a long day at work and now he wants you to give him head. You don't always feel like relaxing this way.  Some men feel the same way. He doesn't feel like dealing with your shit today. He just wanna come home and chill.  So he vacations at my house. On his vacation, he can do things he's too afraid to do back home. He's going to live out his fantasies.

I don't go looking for these situations.  I've never actively pursued a man that I knew was taken.  Usually, I start something with someone and later find out about you.  I may get pissed for all of 2.5 secs. But once someone gives you a hard dicking down, it's easy to agree to these situations.  The numbers game is often why. Who wants to go out and test drive other penises when the one you been riding works spectacular?

I'm not justifying being a side chick, but I will occasionally joke about it and be an advocate for the cause. I'm not saying this my full time job, i just do a little freelance work. I'm just explaining to you uptight prude bitches that can't be honest why my back getting blown out every time I'm with your man and you only get that feeling some of the time.  I'm sure it's people have found a good balance and you definitely don't want your relationship to be based off sex.  But I AIN'T FOUND IT YET! Not in a non-toxic, loving relationship.  So excuse me for being honest where others can't.

-Caress

Monday, December 5, 2016

Insecure

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You know what I hate? When people get defensive about their tackiness and try to make you look like you're the one missing out and you haven't even commented.  I recently saw a blog about an engagement ring set that was $130.  The girl was upset that the jeweler made a comment about her ring.  Let me tell you something right here right now. You coulda saved $100 and got a ring from the costume jewelry section of Macy's that's fake as fuck that was at least cute.  Don't get on the internet talking about how you saved money when I could save more for a nicer looking ring. The ring doesn't have to be real, it don't have to be cute if you really want to be married.  You don't even need a ring!  But you coming on the internet ranting about how you're smarter because you saved money just shows me you're insecure about it. Stop getting defensive about shit if you don't care what people say. This chick got on here saying she woulda been happy with a 25¢ ring. Well, that's what you shoulda did because it probably would've looked better. My friend and I recently went and bought some rings  for $15 to put on to keep the thirsties away (as seen pictured) and still managed to not look like I got it at a garage sale of 1970s vintage pieces.

The incident didn't even happen on the internet. She came on the internet to show her ugly ass ring and rant about the world being materialistic.  Girl, you know that ring is ugly.  Why you bringing up the cost? Did the jeweler say anything about the cost? No, but since you're insecure about it, you did.  I personally think she spent too much on it. We get it. Y'all broke and in love and you got a ring. Bitch, do you want a cookie? I coulda saved you more money since you so in love and don't care how much the ring is.

This is my problem with women.  We love to talk about what we did or have to make other women feel inferior because we're insecure. We find something to complain about and then when something we have doesn't meet OUR OWN expectations we get online and start justifying it.  Everything is a competition.  We compare ourselves to each other in our head then get online and get defensive about the battle we created. I saved this much because I'm smart, I got this man, I'm a mother and you're not, etc.  A song comes out every couple years about us being independent and hoes love quoting it in their Instagram statuses. Ok, girl, good for you!  What person in your life made you feel like you have something to prove? Then, we are quick to say we don't care. You wouldn't have took 15 selfies before picking one and writing "you do what you want when you popping" if you didn't care. Let's be honest with ourselves, ladies.

Girls will get online and talk about all the bills they paid like it's something out the ordinary to reach for congrats to compete with other girls.  Girl, I don't care if you paid your cable bill.  We do that shit every month and don't feel the need to share. You doing what you're supposed to do. Shut up. Bitches start making excuses for their future mediocracy before it even happens because they feel some type of way about it.  Yes, I understand it's some hating ass hoes.  Hell, I can be a hating ass hoe. But what you not gone do is create an issue about something before it's an issue and pretend it's not a defense mechanism. And you're not going to come here yapping about haters when you hate yourself for what you did.  I just want people to stop making a big deal out of shit that's little.

- Summer

Thursday, December 1, 2016

My Strange Addiction

Unabridged

As I sit on a flight running from 1 bad situationship to another with dead wireless Powerbeats and nothing to listen to but Airplane Cabin noise, I had to sit and think about what was causing me to stay in these same patterns of inconsistent highs & lows.  This feeling of pure euphoria followed by heart palpitations and sleepless nights with a splash of wet pillow.

Hello, my name is _______ and I'm addicted to toxic relationships.

I sat and tried to figure out how many healthy relationships I've had, but as I went through each them one by one, I found the same things over and over. I have had this drug problem since I was 16 years old. My first sexual encounter with the opposite sex had been repeated over and over again for 12 years. 12 Years a Slave to a drug so strong no substance could compare.  12 years of unrequited love (dickmatization). 12 years of addiction with no clear sign of wanting to recover.


Though, there were times I knew I needed to be on Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, there were times I loved the adrenaline rush of chasing something I couldn't have.  I won't say that each relationship I went into knowing it was bad. There were some that started off amazing but took a sharp turn for the worse and I refused to abandon ship because I "wanted it to work."  Sometimes an addict is fine with being an addict.  Then, there are those times, like now, where I want help.  I didn't need an intervention because I knew what I was doing was wrong.  I sat and googled things to find others like me.  This was my way of "attempting recovery," even though I had already texted several others in hopes of getting my fix later. 

Brief Remission

I can think of one relationship that was healthy. For about 6 months, I dated someone that actually seemed to like me. I was treated well, he listened, and I was happy. When I was offered drugs from others, I could easily decline.  When that relationship ended, I immediately reached out to my drug. I needed a hit and badly.

Relapse

When I got back into the habit, it was a new high. I hadn't felt that high when I was in recovery. I could no longer get there on my own. For about 9 months, it was pure bliss. Binging with no signs of harm to myself. It didn't feel like it was imagined it felt real. Until December, I took a hit so hard I stayed up crying for 36 hours and did not eat a full meal for 2 weeks. But again I found myself using whatever I could to make me get that high again. I knew I shouldn't but I refused Rehab like Amy, I willingly gave a Piece of My Heart like Janis, and I felt The Worst like Jhene.

Even as I sit here now, I wonder if I really want to recover.  I really don't know any other way.  I'm not the only one.  I'm just honest about it.  I've seen women continuously take care of bums and complain, I've seen people stay in a relationship filled with infidelity, etc. But I felt ahead of them. I didn't have a title and the people ruining my life weren't ruining my bank account.  I never complained about my drug problem to anyone. I was honest about my situation and often times justified it. 

I know what I need to do, I just have to want to do it.

- Belle

This weeks featured playlist


Monday, April 1, 2013

All Shit Everything

After watching the season finale of Love & Hip Hop, I was left confused.  I'm amazed at how many women get in these situations where they just can't seem to let go of someone that really is not good for them.  Why put up with shit if you don't have to?  What is keeping you there?  Could it be daddy issues, low self esteem, or a combination of things that are making these girls stay?  I've seen it too many times on Reality TV and in real life.  Is the dick really that good? Because I promise you can find some that's better.  I may sound judgmental, but someone needs to be blunt with those of you going through it.

Same ole Shit, Different Day

We all know that girl who complains about her dude constantly, breaks up and makes up, on going same soap opera drama for years now.  They ask you for advice, but never listen.  After a while, you just are fed up with hearing it and refuse to continue to try and get some sense into them.  What is making this girl stay.  The guy can come clean admit his faults and then get right back into the same thing he has been doing.  Why? Because that bitch keeps letting him do it.  She continues to waddle in her mud puddle of a relationship, hurt all the time; and the worst part, complains.  This has been going on for so long that it just becomes a routine that she thinks is love.  Then you hear her say something like, "Girl, the love just keeps us together."  Bitch, please. Stop making excuses for the fucked up situation you call a relationship.  I remember the first time I heard Sevyn Streeter's "I Like It."  I thought it was a catchy song and then I really started listening to it.  She's singing happily about some fucked up relationship she's calling love and I sure some basic bitch is singing along and tweeting the lyrics talking about how it sounds like her and Rodney.  Same girl that's telling the girl he just left her for "He gone be back, bitch. He always comes home. He can't stay away from me."  And her best friend has to listen to her cry about how she can't believe he did the same shit he did the year before.  Is it the fear of starting over with someone new what's keeping her there?  Or the fact that she really thinks this is what love is?  Real love is not supposed to hurt, it's the extra bull shit that does. 

Confused Niggas

The Joe Budden, Tahiry, Kaylin situation is the most amusing to watch.  This old ass nigga is Tahiry again.  But if you follow her on Instagram, you know that his ass went right back to Kaylin.  He did one of the most common tricks that guys do to keep someone around, and it worked.  I saw how people laughed and was amused for which ever girl's team they were on.  But in the end, both women are getting played.  Tahiry has been getting played the longest because she's been doing it to her for 5 years.  Kaylin for a shorter amount of time but she still knows of his past and saw how he continuously went back to Tahiry and still fell for the shit.  I don't understand.  This is elementary.  These games that are being played are not any kind of complicated strategy that they have thought long and hard about to trick you.  No, it's quite simple.  You know how when you were a child you realized that if you just admitted to what you did, the punishment was not as bad.  You should have learned this game a long ass time ago.
obviously a quite confused man child.  He has it down to a science.  Just be honest about not know what I want, come clean, and the girl will be understanding and I can come back whenever I want.  He decides to talk about it so he can get some "understanding" for his actions and the girl just sympathizes with him.  I fell for this shit once; I definitely can spot it out a mile away.  Guys like keeping a girl around or in the back ground so they can come back whenever.  And most of us fall for it until we finally get smart, some slower than others.  At the end of the season, he appears to be with

Drama Queens

I've come to the conclusion that some girls just like the drama.  They feed off the the back and forth and the feeling that he can't let her go.  What they don't realize is that she is just convenient.  These types of girls keep getting in the same type of relationships, no matter who it is.  That's their idea of love.  Mess.  "He don't love you unless he *insert dumb as action*."  This will be the same girl wondering why her ass ain't got a ring yet or who finds her self with his kids while he goes back and forth between her and other girls.  If that's love, I got the game all wrong.  He's never going to grown up if she keeps letting him get away with the same childish tricks.  They can have that; I want the real thing.

I can't do any better

I feel like a lot of women come to be content in these situations is because they feel all men are the same.  No, they aren't but they do have to go through that not shit stage before they become a great man.  Your ass just needs to learn how to spot out the bullshit or at least not keep waddling in it.  This nigga got your head so gone that you think it's real love.  Trust me.  When you have a man treat you the way you're supposed to be different, you'll realize that those little adolescent type relationships you were in were Child's Play.  Why stay and cry when you can live life?  You got him didn't you?  There are other people out there you can pull.  Rodney isn't the only man that's going to be with you.  I understand that a lot of people have not had good examples of relationships in their lives when they were growing up, but you gotta learn from yourself and others.  I know you can feel what hurts and what doesn't.  Whether you have a child with him or not, it doesn't limit you to having to put up with his shit if it's not a healthy relationship.  There's never a reason for you to feel like you're stuck in a bad romance.

In the end, you control what situation you're in.  If you don't want to be there anymore, leave.  If you do, "No More Complaining either put up with it or let it go."

 
Special thanks to D'Wayne for the title.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Started From A DM...Now You Always FUCKING Here


Nothing irks me more than a girl that is always tagging along behind her boyfriend.  Find some damn friends.  Some women claim to be so independent, but as soon as they get a boyfriend, they don’t know how to function without him.  It’s time to let your man breathe, ladies.  You don’t see your guy trying to attend a girls’ night.  What did you do for fun before you got in a relationship?  Unless you and your boyfriend are total lames, you should have some friends that you once paid attention to.  Today, I want you to look at yourselves and evaluate if you are the clingy girlfriend.
Since I’ve been dating, I’ve gotten into the date night hype.  I appreciate it because I’m not the type that wants to be in my man’s face every second, minute, and hour of the day.  But what are you doing those other days minus the time you’re at work?  Are you constantly in his face, at his house, on his line?  Women who do this come across as insecure to me.  What do you feel the need to always be around him for?  Are you trying to make sure he’s not doing anything?  Yes, I love spending time with my boyfriend, but I think a little time spent by yourself makes you appreciate each other more. 

His friends aren't your friends

I’ve seen this one too many times.  Guys going out and someone’s girlfriend decides to tag along.  No, no, no.  Stay your ass at home.  It’s called Guys’ Night for a reason.  You wouldn’t try to pop up at a Bachelor’s Party he was attending.  Unless you both were in the same social circle/clique before you started dating, you shouldn’t all of a sudden be hanging with a new group of friends…his friends.  What are you doing there?  What happened to your friends you once had that you used to take IG pics with constantly with long ass captions about how much she was your bottom bitch.  Forgot about her, right?  What about those nights you enjoyed a warm bath, a glass of wine, and your favorite TV show?  I’ve even seen some girls try to be slick with it by inviting his friends with her friends.  Sorry, honey, your job is not to play match maker.  Trying to keep his friends occupied by bringing your girls is not going to compensate for your clinging.  I’m sure if his friends aren’t single; their girlfriends don’t appreciate a group date where their boyfriends have been paired up with one of your many single friends.  A double date every blue moon doesn’t hurt, but every blue moon is not every damn week.  This reminds me of Chris Rock in I Think I Love My Wife.  He talks about how once you get married, you only start hanging with other married people and how this becomes routine.  Do you really want your significant other to get bored with you?

Trust

I think a lot of girlfriends are clingy because of lack of trust.  She doesn’t trust her man to be with Tyrone for a long length of time without her because she thinks he’s going to show his ass.  Tyrone can’t force a grown man to do something he doesn’t want to or intends not to do.  And if your man is easily influenced, you may need to reconsider who you’re dating.  When you ask someone what is the foundation of a relationship, they always answer with trust.  Yet, I still see too many women who lack it and try to hind it by just being around all the time.  Not trusting him and blaming his friends, is only going to have them waiting for you two to break up.  Now when it’s time for you to come around, it’ll be an uncomfortable or negative vibe because they already feel some type of way about you because you do about them.  Then, he’ll never want to bring your ass around anyone. 

Social Networks

Unless he has something to hide, most of his friends and associates know you’re his girlfriend.  You don’t have to comment on every one of his posts on Instagram.  We know you’re there, please shut up.  Wouldn’t it creep you out if someone constantly liked every one of your pics?  You’re calling, texting, tweeting, and liking his pics…that’s a damn overload.  I learned this awhile back.  Chill out.  Let the nigga breathe.  He has too look at you every day and deal with trying to make yourself known to the world.  Have a seat.  All this extra attention you are displaying is going to back fire when he dumps your ass.  Then all the people who were secretly waiting for it to end will really get a kick out of that.  Imagine you having an annoying colleague that was constantly doing all these things that I named, how quick would you start ignoring and avoiding him/her?  Push him away if you want to.

Allowing Space

So you’ve found yourself suddenly bored because you don’t know how to function on your own anymore?  I’m sure there are some errands you need to run that you don’t have to drag him along to do.  He doesn’t have to wait for you in the nail shop or look uncomfortable in the women’s department store with you every time you want to go.  Take your ass there by yourself.  I know these men that women always drag along to these places aren’t always paying the bill, so stop fronting like he is.  Stop sitting there huffing and puffing or watching some sports game at a bar with him that you don’t really want to be in because you couldn’t let him go by himself.  Some things should be done separately.  Sure it’s nice to go shopping together every now and then, but you don’t have to go together every time.  I hate going shipping with other people, so I know a lot of guys do too.  He doesn’t have to buy you something every time you go out.  I’m sure it’s some primping and winding down you can do without him.  Reach deep back into your memory and dig out some of those activities you were doing solo dolo when you were single.

Hopefully, you were honest with yourself when you read this.  Guys, put your damn foot down sometimes.  It’s okay to tell her you want to spend time with YOUR friends and not hers.  No one wants a man who they can walk all over…except the insecure girls who I doubt you want to be with.  Space is good.  I’m not saying break up or not contact each other all day.  I’m just saying you need some time to yourself and not be in the other person’s face 24/7 365.